December 24th, 2009
I love flying. I love take-off. I love landing. I love watching the ground get further and further away. I love looking down over the mountains. Airlines, however, are a different story.
Today’s airline rant come courtesy of American Airlines. They may now join United on the list of “airlines I will avoid flying unless there is absolutely no other alternative.”
In November, I took a trip to Missouri on AA. On the way home, they oversold the flight* and asked for volunteers. “Who wants to hang out in the Dallas airport for an extra three hours? We’ll give you $300!” Deal, I’m in.
So they hand me the $300 voucher and tell me that I need to keep it because they do not accept copies, only the original. (That was the only instruction I received.)
A month goes by and I decide to book another flight to Missouri. (Actually, I’m flying into Arkansas and out of Kansas City, so I’m sure that will make things extra confusing later.)
I assume that I can go to aa.com, pick my flight, enter my voucher number, pay the difference in price, and I’m good to go. There should be no opportunity for chaos or hilarity.
Hmm…I can’t seem to find where to enter the voucher number. No instructions on the voucher itself. I guess I’ll call Customer Service.
[insert the usual phone tree nonsense here]
When I finally get to a person, he tells me I need to go to their website (!) and pick a flight. But do not BUY the ticket, just put the ticket on HOLD. Then call back (!!) and he will apply the voucher to my held ticket. Um…ok.
So I go back to aa.com and pick some flights and put them on HOLD. Then I call Customer Service back, again. This time he tells me I need to mail them the voucher. He can’t take any info over the phone. He gives me a PO Box number in Florida and instructs me to mail the voucher, as well as include the flight numbers and dates ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE ENVELOPE UNDER THE RETURN ADDRESS. What? Really? Fine, whatever. I drop the voucher in the mail 20 minutes later.
Weeks go by.
Since I haven’t heard anything from the airline after mailing them my voucher (which is probably how this thing was handled back in 1978), I call Customer Service.
[insert the usual phone tree nonsense here]
- We did not receive your voucher.
- What should I do?
- The voucher needs to be postmarked by Dec. 26.
- I already mailed it. Weeks ago.
- We did not receive it. Make sure it is postmarked by Dec. 26.
- Um…I don’t have it, because I ALREADY MAILED IT, on Dec 14. But I did make a photocopy.
- Ok, good. Take that to the airport and they can help you.
- They will tell me that they need the original, not a copy, and then they will tell me to call Customer Service.
- Why do you think that?
- Because that’s how this thing always works.**
- The person at the airport will help you.
So, I take an unnecessary trip to the airport. On Christmas Eve. Airports are basically a series of lines. A line to check-in. A line to check bags. A line get through security. A line to sit on the bench to put all your clothes back on after going through security. A line to get in line to get on the plane. A line to get off the plane. A line to get your bags. A line to get a taxi. I fucking hate airports.
After waiting in the Christmas Eve check-in line for 30 minutes, I get up to the counter. I tell the agent the whole story up to this point.
- …so now here I am with this photocopy and my reservation numbers.
- We can’t take a photocopy. It needs to be the original. You should try contacting Customer Service.
- [head collapses]
She calls the secret employee Customer Service number, where she gets to skip the phone tree and only gets transferred twice. Those airline employees get all the perks! After speaking with a supervisor, she tells me that everything should be ok. She has documented the entire incident on my reservation record, and I should call Customer Service 72 hours before my flight to have my ticket moved from “purchased” to “ticketed”. What? That doesn’t even make any sense. Why would someone what to “purchase” a ticket, but not actually have a “ticket”? I don’t understand. Whatever.
So that’s where we are at. Several phone calls, one PO Box, and a drive to the airport, and all I have to show for it is “call back three days before your flight…everything will be fine.” Riiiiight.
I’m not a UI designer (yes I am) but it seems like this entire thing could have been avoided by having a place on their purchase webpage with a field called “Enter your voucher number here”. No phone calls, no post office box, no wasting everybody’s time. Of course, if AA were to start listening and responding to user feedback, people would lose their jobs.
At first I thought this whole voucher system was just a way to make it difficult to redeem so people wouldn’t do it. (I’m looking at you, Mail-in Rebate!) Now I realize that even if you do go through the crazy steps to redeem it, they will find another way to make it *impossible* for them to hold up their end of the bargain. I got them out of a bind by taking a later flight, they make me jump through hoops and laugh at my expense. Good times.
I heard a rumor that American Airlines is going to expand their business plan:
- Hire a team of highly qualified customer service agents to locate children’s lemonade stands.
- Order a large glass of lemonade, not pay for it, and then punch the child in the face.
- Complain to the government that they might go bankrupt due to their horrible business plan.
- Receive bailout money.
- Hire a team of highly qualified customer service agents to locate an animal shelter.
- Rinse and repeat.
* Here’s a tip: if you have 200 seats on a plane, do not sell 201 tickets. This way, the flight is not oversold. Of course, you wouldn’t have 201 people giving you money, only 200 people, but it seems like keeping people happy is what keeps people coming back. Honestly, I can’t believe it is even legal to oversell the way all the airlines do. It kinda feels like basic math.
** And by “always works” I mean “never works”.
